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This blog had moved to its own server.   Please check out the new site @http://learningbyts.net/WordPressBlog/

However, since the new blog violates Facebook's Community Guidelines by being copyrighted,  entries are back to being shared here.   The Personal blog about being a Trans str8t spouse will remain on the private  server (above)  for the time being. So if you are looking for those entries go to the above link. 

Otherwise, enjoy the entries here!

The rest of the story.....

Ah..... the sound of quiet in the house... now maybe I can express my feelings about retirement...  Now that I'm really doing this, how do I explain what retirement is?  When first planning retirement, I was wondering how I was going to fill all that time that I used to work, do lesson planning, and grade papers.  Somehow that time has been filled, and I don't seem to have time now to do all that I want to do.  Since the finances are challenging because of limited incomes, and challenges with medical benefits, I  put in to substitute and have applied for part-time jobs.  As a result, the phone is constantly ringing for sub jobs that I now really don't want to do because a couple of part-time entrepreneur opportunities have become available, which will enable me to develop the consultant business I started once before. However, life still seems to be slowing that process as well.   Family challenges, construction challenges, and the retirement life style keep my life full!

The retirement lifestyle includes tea parties, lunches with people I haven't seen for 45 years, trips that are irresistible but challenge the tight budget, writing memoirs and other pieces both professional and personal, and especially precious time with the grand kids. The joy of being able to be available for family is awesome,  And being able to make memories with grand kids is so wonderful! And when family wears me out, having time to take a mid-afternoon nap is fulfilling!

 It is fun to be able to take off any time and go meet a friend from years ago, and learn each other's stories.  One friend took a different path in life and in expressing how she felt when she came out of the closet, she said " I understood then why the skin didn't fit".   That expression really hit me as I was writing my memoirs this morning and was trying to explain my ex-husband's description of being transgender. The connection between the pieces made me realize that our generation has so many stories to tell.  And we need to tell those stories for the next generation! As Paul Harvey used to say, they need to hear .... and I'll be telling ..... "the rest of the story".

Reflections on Retirement

Retirement.... isn't that supposed to be a time to look back on your accomplishments, and travel and enjoy life?  Hmmm... I think that holds more true for my parent's generation than mine because we've lived through the dot.com bubble, and the economic squeeze of 2008, barely surviving with our savings intact. In addition, the government keeps threatening to take away Social Security, calling it an "Entitlement" when in reality it's more of a savings account (which involuntarily came out of our pay checks).    

Since I reached this milestone in a precipitous manner, and a little before I'm ready financially to afford the luxuries of my parent's retirement, the coming months are full of mixed feelings.  I wonder if that is true for all my colleagues taking the same step I am?  As I watch many of those my age celebrate their retirements, I wonder why I don't seem to be celebrating mine.... 

I know that the manner in which my career was divided up helps to make it feel that I have no one to celebrate with.  I don't have a set group that I always worked with over my 42 years in education.  I spent 5 years in one school, 15 years in one district and then later returned to add 7 more years in that same district (but in 3 different schools), and spent 15 years  in a conglomeration of higher education, online schools, pre-school, and substituting in  school districts  both in Maryland and in Colorado.  It made for some unique experiences, and all added to my professional development as an educator. It means I've touched thousands of students either directly (over 2500 middle  and high school students,  over 400 primary or elementary students), and thousands of others through the teachers I've trained or the professors I've worked with who changed their teaching through what I taught them.  I've also touched numbers of virtual students through the online projects with Kidlink or the two online schools where I taught.  Through the Kidlink experiences, I met global colleagues and students from foreign countries. 

I earned a Master's equivalency, then went on to get a real Master's degree, and eventually achieved a doctorate.  I've also presented at many conferences to share my experiences, been given a couple of awards, and published  a book and articles.  

So what happens to all that knowledge and experience, once one retires?  I'm sure my colleagues are also faced with the same questions.... what do I do with all those binders of training materials.... training I've taken, and training I've developed?   Those materials set the groundwork for education today, they are a part of history, yet a history that no longer exists and can't be used by the new generations of educators.  What about all those grade books I saved for years, lugged across country and back, and still sit in my basement?  I've saved them "just in case" a parent came back years later stating that something was wrong with a grade (don't laugh, it happened!).  Do I just toss all that?  I'll probably have a burning party with the grades eventually because it is too much to sit and shred (even though I'm retired), and it has personal info of students on it.   

Since my grand kids recently moved back in with me, I figured some of the teaching materials will get  used for playing school during summer months, and the training materials and grade books will make a great campfire for roasting marshmallows and making s'mores  :-)  ...  

So I know my educational career was rich  and I've left my mark if only so slight, and although I'm not celebrating with a party, I'm celebrating in my own way...... with a virtual celebration..... and who knows what life will bring next????    a new career, or just time to celebrate and enjoy my family....  

Passing the baton …… a teacher's legacy

Thursday, May 09, 2014

8:30 AM

As a retiring teacher, I've recently "reflected" deeply about my 40+ year career in education,  what I've learned over the years, and what yet needs to be done by my future colleagues. As I pass the baton of my career to two nieces and a godchild who have decided to join this noble profession, I want them to know what it has taken to get here, what rewards the profession has had, and the challenges ahead of them.

Thankfully, I've been blessed with having a career that spanned from teaching  Pre-K to teaching Master's degree classes, and I've watched education morph frequently.  Some of these changes were good, others were not, and some have come back again with a different acronym. These are my thoughts on where education has come from,  and where it is currently heading and what future teachers will need to think about.

So to my fellow teachers remaining in the classroom, and to new teachers,  I leave the following legacies: 

 1. The legacy of theories on student learning -  From open spaced classrooms who were coming into their glory during my student teaching experience, to theories about Assertive Discipline now morphed and called PBIS, to Dimensions of Learning, Multiple Intelligences, Content Literacy, Problem and Project Based Learning, Inquiry Learning, and now Common Core, the path to  understanding student learning has been far from boring or plain.  Each theory has improved a piece of the educational process or has changed as the needs of students have changed. 

I suspect learning theories will evolve even more as the nature of learning changes. Technology will enable the use of data mining, to morph learning, and aid both teachers and students.  Although currently, teaching is heavily focused on the data mining and reporting, and it has seemingly taken over the classroom and the media,  eventually the data will also enable individualized learning letting students have input into their learning path, and teachers will become guides on the sides. I challenge future teachers to make sure those paths are strong and correct.

2. The Political legacy -  although I started my career with the attitude that I could never go on strike because it would leave children feeling that teachers have given up on them, my own feelings for the political process have morphed over the years. As I've watched older teachers being pushed out of the classroom by changing their grade level after 30 years in the same one, or by giving them the hardest students to handle, and having a colleague hounded by administration and demoted to an aide because she was unaware that her administrator was lying to the press when the teacher told the truth, my respect for the union and its place in education has grown.  Watching the "language" disappear from the contracts over the years to whittle away at our sick leave and other benefits, has caused me to become more politically active in my older years.

But the hardest part has been watching as politicians have led the movement on bashing teachers by making education dollars the carrot that controls money hungry administrators.  Although their "truisms" seem right (NCLB, RTTT), the  funding machine has gotten into the hands of business leaders who don't understand education.  I remember one motivational speaker during the "education should be run like a business" phase who talked about how he had created a successful ice cream business, but was floored when a teacher asked him " What do you do in your business when the blueberries come to the dock damaged?"  He replied "We send them back." The teacher then replied "We can't send our blueberries back."  Nor do we want to send them back. 

Although these business leaders thought they were doing right by creating foundations, the corporate wheel has taken over and is not allowing enough input from teachers or enough time for their ideas to be tested, researched and tried with real students. Somehow, all the new ideals  (Common Core, PARCC, Teacher evaluations) are being rolled out without norm referencing and criterion testing.

Therefore, I challenge my colleagues to continue fighting politically for things that work, have been tried and tested, and for your own professionalism.

3. I pass on my technological legacy -  while this is my true passion, it is also the legacy that has morphed the most during my tenure.  From using typewriters in high school, to basic computers like the Commodore, DOS based computing, emails sent at 1200 baud, and Archie, Veronica and the World Wide Web,  to the mobile web and the cloud today, technology will have the greatest impact on the educational process. Although all the early changes took lots of time and effort to figure out, the speed of changes today are so rapid that very few people can keep up.  In fact, even the government has the vision of where technology can go, but ran across the major glitches with the Affordable Health Care Act.  However, those same glitches can be avoided if  Usability Studies in Human Computer Interaction theory are utilized before major rollouts like PARCC testing occur. But getting the politicians to slow down long enough to test the tests, and the evaluation system, as well as any future changes, will be your challenge.

My secret passions  are really individualized and global learning. If the learning my students garnered during my Kidlink days using global projects in the 1990's could have been spread more quickly, then 9/11 may have been avoided.  But we were such a small but global entity in the 90's passing on respect for global partners, celebrating similarities and differences, and making students aware of the global community.  With today's tools such as Facebook, Twitter, and mobile apps those global projects have so much more potential for creating awareness of and for other cultures.  Your challenge will be to explore Social media tools, particularly online discussion tools, to enable your students to interact with their global peers. If my 4th grade students in 1998 were able to write a mystery story with students in Denmark and an author in New Hampshire, and have the story critiqued by students in South Africa and Maryland's Eastern Shore, and shared with global peers, imagine YOUR  possibilities now!

In addition, the technology can now be harnessed through Learning Management Systems to enable Common Core to focus and direct skills to individual students, enabling students to progress at their own speed. If teachers can be involved in developing the online curriculums to match the common core, then students who have been exposed to the technology as infants will be able to plow through the skill at their own pace in that digital environment.  Your challenge will be to make sure all students can develop their strengths, but also develop their weaknesses.   You will also need to be sure that the whole child can be developed in spite of the technology.

4. Last but not least, I pass on my time and talent legacy  - I wish I could bottle and pass on the 40 years of patience I've developed over the years while teaching thousands of kids and impacting others through the teachers I've taught or mentored.   Although that is not possible, I can pass on my wish for you to be treated as professionals.  If college professors can take sabbaticals every seven years, why can't teachers do the same?  I've left the classroom several times, each one for my own professional growth in the educational field, and have returned a stronger teacher (in my opinion, not necessarily that of my superior's).  But imagine if I could have left the classroom with the blessing of my district… If every teacher had a 6 month or year hiatus every seven years to grow professionally, interact with researchers in their field, and  had time to analyze their own teaching, what could they bring back to their district and students?  They would feel valued and respected, and further the educational field more efficiently.  Students and other teachers would truly benefit from their experiences.  Therefore, I challenge you to take on the political forces to change society's view of teachers, and fight for the time for your own professional growth.

In conclusion, I challenge future teachers take all of the above philosophies and blend them to make new ones that will further education.  I will be cheering from the sidelines, and hoping that teachers are included in the process and guiding these changes.  Have confidence in yourselves….you  know what needs to be done for students. And hopefully I'll still be around to watch you pass your baton…. :-)

Best wishes,

A Retiring educator,
Cybrscrybe

©2014

From RIF'd to Recall.... Pitfalls and Silver Platters

      What a tumultuous week.... a week ago I was relatively calmly teaching the last couple of days of school, hanging in there with the 8th graders who had just experienced their first formal dance and were impatiently waiting to move on to high school.  Then the last day of school, I was presented with a piece of paper by a man in a suit  from Human Resources, who calmly stated that my position was being cut, and that after July 1st I could collect unemployment, and my benefits would end at the end of August. The principal got me coverage for the afternoon classes, and I headed home to research my options.

Those options included retiring since I am 62, and have enough years in the district to collect a pension.  However, there are some steep pitfalls to retirement as I've found out. First off, it's scary letting go of the person you've been for many years.  Teachers tend to say "I'm a teacher" like that defines their role in life, even though they are a parent, sibling, child, spouse, etc., their job seems to define them more. So letting go of who you are and trying to define a new you without what has consumed your life for decades is scary.  I found myself putting in job apps for more teaching jobs, or trying to figure out how to volunteer in schools, or develop my own business around what I've created over the years.

The second pitfall was the "benefits" which were not an option of my contract. This option was removed for several reasons, the first being that  I was in a district that has been whittling away at our contracts with each negotiation. Because I came back a month and a half into the new contract,  and because I took a leave of absence to pursue my own professional growth which brought me back to the district only 6 years ago, benefits  would not be offered to me. Therefore, I began the journey through tons of medical companies trying to sell me their "cheap" policies.  Of course they were cheap  -- one of them only paid $10 for each doctor visit... what normally is considered your co-pay!  And because my husband and I, being the ages we are, have "pre-existing conditions"  some of the more reasonable companies could reject us.  The "silver lining"  was that come January 1st when Obama care kicks in, they could no longer reject us.  However, one doubts that politicians ever create silver linings for us middle class folks, so it sounds suspicious.

The third pitfall was the limitations the pension  and Social Security would put on my earnings at this time.  With the pension, I could only make a certain amount of money working in public schools or the university system in the state.  I could work at private schools, or on my own, but then Social Security would limit that as well.  Social security would at least add any money I made above my small pittance back into the pot for when I turned 66.  So I would have to juggle my finances carefully and live simply.  That part didn't bother me, particularly if I was able to do something I loved.

So with all these pitfalls, when I received a phone call from HR that I was being "recalled" only a week later, I had very mixed feelings.  I had already worked through all the paperwork for retirement, and was working on what that might look like.  If they had asked me to take a position in another field, I would have gone on with the retirement.  However, since I was already looking at jobs elsewhere in my field (the one that I spent so many years getting and recently achieving a doctorate in), and they offered my old position back to me, I had some real thinking to do.

As I thought through my decisions and the path of the last week, I realized that I was still looking for jobs in my field.  In other words my "heart" was still in the classroom teaching technology.  So if I had that chance, and the chance to return to a place where I was needed and used to, then I should do it.  It also makes my pitfalls lessen with each year that I can continue.   So even though when the riff first happened I felt that I was  handed the chance to retire and should grab it, it was't given to me on a silver platter.  It was given on a broken platter, and at least returning to the classroom will get me a complete platter, but it will never be a silver one ---- because I'm a "teacher".

The myth of tenure..... is hurting students

Tenure... that word that supposedly protects teachers... the one that everyone claims keeps bad teachers in the classroom, was proven wrong today, especially in my district.  You see, I got riff'd today!  Yep... and I have tenure and many years of experience.... so if the myth is true, then it should have protected me.  Even recently getting my doctorate so I'm current in my field (Computer Science), and winning a Curriculum Award from the district, and getting runner-up for best paper at a state conference, and presenting at a National conference in my field didn't protect me.  Being in Computer Science seems to be a detriment in this district, as many of the first to be let go were Computer Science teachers with tenure.  That's extremely sad for our students.  You see, we are a district that has lots of BRAC potential, touted that our county would grow with the influx of high tech positions, and it is predicted that our students will have good chances of employment in that field in this district in the next 10 years.   But if they don't have Computer teachers, how are they going to learn the skills needed for those positions?

So if those in my field and my district feel that I am sharp enough to win those awards, why didn't they keep me?  It all comes down to money.... our county executive cut his portion of paying for public education in the district, and the district has to rearrange its budget. I haven't a clue about how they decided, but they are "cutting programs" and our program is the first to go.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that our Chief Information Officer has not supported our programs for the last several years.  Maybe it has something to do with the perception that kids are born with technology skills (they may be, but they haven't a clue how to make them "work"  for them rather than be a toy).  Someone needs to teach them how to adapt those programs to what they are learning in the classroom. 

Maybe it has something to do with the new Common Core Standards that supposedly have a STEM base to them, yet don't mention computer skills anywhere in the standards.  They focus on Engineering, Mathematics, and Science, yet when professional development is offered, the technology piece (in particular careers in Computer Science like database administration, technical support, network engineers,  software engineers, programmers, are never mentioned as possible careers for kids in STEM).  

So what's my next step?  Not sure at this point... I'll be exploring how I can use that newly acquired doctorate, trying my hand with writing again this summer, and exploring what retirement might look like....  hopefully I'll find a window of opportunity ... and soar through it..   although it won't be one that promises "tenure".

More paradigm shifts... in 2013... from Common Core to teacher evaluations..

     As time marches on, so do federal and state mandates that effect every teacher and student in this country and beyond.  From a severe bashing of teachers from politicians who blame teachers for US students being behind international ones, to the development of Common Core Standards, and the support of Universal Design for Learning, teaching is still on the cusp of a monumental change.  While I agree that change can be good, and since education has NOT changed in a century, being based on the factory model of learning, too much change can be overwhelming.  And the fact that this change is mandated by politicians who have no clue what education is really about, or the developmental level of the child, makes this a scary time for many teachers.  

     While I'm an older teacher, having close to 40 years in the educational field, I applaud some of these changes, even though it goes against my colleagues and administrators.  Yet, other parts I really hate because we seem to have taken childhood out of the equation, and treat our students as test scores. When the standardized testing became the norm in the early 1990's,  I moaned as the test creators expected my 10 year-olds to balance the Federal budget and write a preamble to a constitution all in one morning.  This was one of the first renditions of the test, and the rewrites 10 years later became much more reasonable and doable, yet I still tremble when I watch my 8th graders today undertake 10 hours of testing in Reading, Math, and Science. Are we truly preparing them for taking the SAT four years' later, just by making them endure the testing seat time?

    While I abhor what the testing movement is doing to our kids, taking away from the fun and JOY of learning just to be a number on a piece of paper, I also applauded the changes the testing movement has pushed.  I watched the development of the Common Core with a measure of joy, thinking that finally K-12 could be on a common field that will further encourage the development of online learning, which is my passion.  While I think we are on the right track towards that passion because the common core and standardized testing have fine tuned and outlined what needs to be taught so that instructional designers can now develop online materials that can be adapted for public educators to use for students to progress at their own pace. That has been my passion... individualized learning.....  Yet... The common core have been developed and are being shoved down teacher's throats BEFORE being tested, norm referenced, or other wise researched.  The newly developed researcher in me ( I just recently completed my Ph.d.) screams in pain.....

     The same researcher also screams in pain at the speed at which teacher evaluations are changing.  Again, I've felt for years that teacher evaluations needed to be changed because the scoring of teachers for years as either Unsatisfactory, Causing Concern, or Satisfactory, has left much to be desired from the teacher's point of view.  It always felt so punitive that administrators could take one incident that happened in one 45 minute lesson while they were there, and make a judgement on your total teaching career from that one comment or action. It didn't take into account all the other 179 days you taught successfully, if you made one mistake in that one lesson, you were put on a plan of action, which included a ton of extra work, which in turn took away from the energy you were giving to your students (where it belonged).

     When I took a hiatus from my district and spent time in a Teacher Education Department in a College in Colorado, I was heartened to realize that they had figured out that successful teachers had to have 186 skills, and they developed a  database to score those skills for their prospective teachers.  If only that could be developed for classroom teachers and administrators to give a more realistic evaluation!  Well, Charlotte Danielson did just that with her Framework.  And since the Feds have opened the teacher evaluation can of worms by requiring systems to change their evaluation system in order to get their piece of the Race to the Top funding, systems have quickly grabbed onto whatever they could get their hands on !  Most seem to have grabbed onto Danielson's framework, even though it was just a theory when she proposed it. Now corporations and research entities have jumped on her bandwagon,  developing tools to measure her framework of teaching skills.  And while this process may eventually make teacher evaluations a little more fair,  again it is being utilized before being tested and researched thoroughly... all because politicians want what they want, when they want it (sounds like spoiled brats, don't they?).... I suppose it's all because these politicians have a limited 4 year term and want to be able to point to the changes they've made during their time frame... but come on.. what right do they have to tell educators how to do their job?  Why don't they tell Wall street how to do their job?  or Banks?

    I'm just glad I participated in the pilot program for teacher evaluations in my district.  Now I won't be panicking along with the other thousands of educators who will be faced with the new evaluations, and new standards in the next year.  I suspect an unprecedented number of retirees are leaving this year... If I could afford it, I might too.... but naw.... I want to stick around to see all these changes develop and make education better 5 years from now...  hanging on for wild ride into my  educational sunset....

What's Up with Teaching in 2012 ? (from a teacher's viewpoint )

      With all the negative press about teachers in the last several years,  I thought it might be beneficial to keep a blog on the impacts of the new changes taking place in education as they are rolled out.  From the Common Core Standards (CCS), Universal Design for Learning (UDL), to Race To the Top (RTTT) pressures to change teacher evaluations, the paradigm shift is huge this year!  We've had changes in the past, but now the changes seem cataclysmic.   They may be needed changes, but coming all at once makes it seem like a roller coaster to most teachers.  How we get through the next year will be interesting and worth documenting.

My first real exposure to the above topics took place throughout the past year as I've been researching for my doctorate.  My topic was not related to either of the two, but as I searched for journal articles on my topic, news reports, journal articles, and conference related tweets and postings on facebook, all kept me informed on these topics.  It's been interesting to see the technology being utilized.  I know that most of my colleagues and family have probably been bored when I posted that I liked or read certain professional articles on my facebook page, but  hopefully, they've all been able to get a glimmer of the coming changes along with me.

Formally, I got the school system's official take on CCS at a 2 day workshop I took this summer.  It was well done, and gave a good overview of the Language Arts (now ELA for English Language Arts rather than the ILA for Integrated Language Arts it's been the last 20 years or so), Math, and STEM.  The Language Arts one was well done, however,  it seemed that the focus was more on the I for Integrated more now than before.  The premise that we should be including finding more answers in the text rather than personal reflection is a throw back to 20 years ago.  It's good that they are going back to that, as well as including more types of text in their examples.

The math workshop was well done as well, but it still seems to me that they have students solving old world problems, rather than ones relevant to today, and not geared to 21st century learners.  For example, they gave us a sample problem to solve about a person trying to figure out when they would have written a certain check in their checkbook, given the dates and check numbers of all the checks written.  My goodness.... who writes checks these days?  And why wouldn't you utilize the online tools to sort through the checks and find the answer in about two minutes?  I realize that it's supposed to make the kids use HOTS (Higher Order Thinking Skills), but from my viewpoint, and probably the kids as well, this question would be totally irrelevant, and I wouldn't be motivated to figure it out (I had a hard time getting into the spirit as an adult at the workshop!).

The STEM activities were  good as well, and I'm glad to see that they are pushing the engineering type of activity as well as the engineering process.  However, I was appalled that technology skills and computer science careers were NOT one of the things they plan on teaching kids.  After the workshop, I researched it and found that it's not just my district that's lax on the concept, but nationwide it's a problem.  Somehow, Computer Science seems to have "gotten left behind" in the eyes of politicians and educational administrators as they've planned these changes.  It looks like a grass roots movement is starting to bring this to the attention of the policy makers. This effort is being spearheaded through CSTA a  listserv that is part of ACM (Association for Computing Machinery.org).

 And it looks like the CSS's (Common Science Standards) are already being redone and will be called NGSS or Next Generation Science Standards ... so what's new... education is always changing...

This post only covered one of the changes listed above.  The next post will cover the new teacher evaluation process which I will be attending a meeting for this week.   

 Keeping checking back... AND send me your comments and impressions of these changes..

This blog was started in early blogging days when keeping track of things wasn't so easy.  Therefore, somehow I started two blogs on this topic, and the one @ Dissertation Blues has more info... so go there for the nitty gritty and to see my progress!

Test

Checking out blogging from phone.

Cool Learningbyts for Kids

Got a neat place to learn?   Share the link here for others to  use.  And give us a short description of it so we know what it's about...

You may want to check out Learningbyts HarCUE Bookmarks page for more ideas...

three little words: A Memoir by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Just read a remarkable book by an adopted young lady that tells the story from her side of the story.  It's amazing to me how many things in her story parallel the feelings, behaviors, and challenges that were faced in our family.

Check it out!  A good read!! A MUST read for all adoptive/foster parents, guidance counselors, social workers,  teachers, ministers, and anyone working with these kids!  And also a good read for foster or adoptive kids!

Enjoy!

Angels with Broken Wings (A Chronicle on the process of adoption in the U.S.)

Adoption and Foster care have been put in place to solve challenges in our society, but could the system be better? 

Have you been adopted, or spent time in the foster care system?   What were the successes?  the challenges?  How did you solve the challenges? What helped you heal if the system put a crimp in your wings....   Tell us your story...

Here is my story...

I remember the first time I saw her… she was eating pizza at a Pizza Hut with our social worker and we were sitting a couple tables away listening to their conversations.  The social worker knew we were listening and kept the conversation light and impersonal.  She guided our future “daughter” in telling about her day at school, and asking how things were with the foster family she was currently staying with. 

My first impression of her was of an eleven year old pixie with short hair, and cute turned up little nose, and an upbeat outlook on life.  She seemed basically happy although one could tell there was an underlying tension and worry in her. After all, we already knew a little bit about the challenges she had faced in her short eleven years.  Her challenge with having to be the “adult” at six years old to take care of a hypochondriac mother who was so sick she kept her daughter home from school to be the nursemaid. The challenges of being shifted from one place to another whenever her mom was hospitalized.  The worry of the list of family and friends that she  had stayed with during those hospitalizations, so many that her welcome had been worn out.  Then the worry of being placed in foster care several times, none of which worked out for one reason or another.

Added @ 10 PM on July 10, 2011...

The biggest blow was yet to come for her, as she had finally bonded with her current foster family, and both she and they wanted it to be more permanent.  You see, there was a sister there her own age, a loving mom and dad, and a brother she could tease.   However, the powers that be, in the form of the American military, the foster program, and her mother's own challenges made that dream impossible.  The foster family being military was being relocated to another state, and even though they wished with all their hearts that she could go with them,  her birth mother would not sign papers to release her to be able to go across state lines.  Even though the social workers were working to get the state custody because mom had dropped the ball too often leaving her, but  the wheels of state moved too slowly for the foster family's required leave date. So that's how we entered the picture.   But our story started years earlier......

We had  had challenges years before this with conceiving a child.  It's very hard to describe the deep feelings of despair that come along with infertility.  Since I had dreamt since I was a child of being a mother, and since I had "mothered" my siblings frequently, I of course assumed that  I would get pregnant very easily.  And the first infertility tests showed that I had endometriosis, but not severe yet, so we should be able to get pregnant.  (Of course if I had known then what I know now -30 years later- about the gender issues of my ex-spouse, maybe my choices would have been different!) We jumped through all the hoops that were recommended... the taking temperatures to find the highest ovulation time, timing intercourse to take advantage of those times,  the keeping certain postures to hold the sperm in place longer, the changing  (his) underwear so  his sperm count had the best chance of surviving,  we tried all the tricks writtten in the books at the time.  We were too early for invitro ... although the scientists were working on it.

At first, every month that passed  was just a disappointment. But when months turned into years,  each month then became like a funeral.  A funeral for the baby I hoped to conceive that month, but every time my menses showed up that hope died yet again. And the tears flowed on a regular basis.  And the constant wondering of how come it's so easy for everyone else?  The feelings of inadequacy... I couldn't even perform a basic function of life.... produce a life.  Wasn't it supposed to make all the feminine hassles worthwhile?  Would I never hold my baby in my arms?  The empty feelings of my arms grew heavier as each month passed.  

We finally started talking about adoption.   We put our name on several lists, did the paperwork for each, and went through the classes that were offered.  The whole time we kept hoping that we'd become pregnant and wouldn't need to go through the process.  After all, we were told that it would be years before a baby was available because the waiting lines were so long.  If we had megabucks we may have been able to get a lawyer, or afford an overseas adoption, but on our meager salaries we couldn't afford those avenues. We knew two other couples who were able to get babies from Catholic Charities, but since my spouse was not Catholic, and we hadn't settled on a church as yet, Catholic Charities put us further down on their list. Eventually we got the to point that we had been trying so long that we realized that if we had gotten pregnant our child would have been 5 or 6 years old, so we convinced ourselves that we could take a special needs child.  Any child over 5 was considered special needs because they were harder to place.  Little did we know that also meant that most children by that age came with extensive challenges due to the ordeal life had already put them through.  And even though we went through additional classes to try to understand those challenges there was no way we could truly understand what those kids would need.

We eventually  adopted our son from Episcopal Social Services.  We put our name on our local county list as well and did the paperwork for them, but were told the waiting list was years long. At ESS the process to finally bring him home was intensive.   He was not only a special needs child  but also had real special education needs with severe learning disabilities.  We had combed through catalogs of children that needed homes, and wrote away for a couple of them, but usually someone else had gotten there first, or something went wrong with their foster/adoption process and they were not available at the time we were searching.

When I saw his blond hair and blue eyes and that his birthdate matched my spouse's grandfather's and my mother's birthday, I knew he was meant for us!   Little did I know that the system had already put its mark on him.  He had been pulled from his birth mom when he was two years old due to being hospitalized for malnutrition several times in those two years.  Unfortuately, during those first two years of life is when the brain develops the most, so that malnutition caused his severe learning disabilities.   In foster care, he too was bounced from foster placement to foster placement mainly because they couldn't deal with his disabilities.  When we finally adopted him at the age of 5,  his communication skills were that of a 2 year old. We would be driving down the street with him, and he'd be pointing to things and labeling them in one word syllables.... and getting some of them wrong.  It took us two years to get through to him that a Xmas tree was NOT a "monkey tree" as he called it.

But back to the adoption itself.  When we finally convinced the social worker that we truly wanted to adopt him, he was  at St. Vincent's, an orphanage about an hour away from us. He had been placed there when his last foster placement fell through, and the courts and social workers were adamant that he had to be there for 6 months.  Their reasoning was that he had gotten too "attached" to each of his foster homes, and when the time came for him to be removed, it went hard on him.  So they wanted him to stay at the orphanage for at least 6 months so he could "unattach".... So our schedule for six months consisted of visiting him first at the orphanage for an hour or two for a couple of weeks, then moving up to an afternoon outing for a couple of weeks.  Eventually we could take him to our house for the day, but had to bring him back at night, then several months of having him for the weekend and taking him back again.  Every trip taking him back was gut-wrenching for all three of us.  After all, how do you tell a 5 year old that you love him but aren't keeping him and are giving him back to that impersonal place (the staff there was really nice though!)  The hardest part  was not knowing when the social workers would decide that he was ready to be adopted.  They were looking for some behavior or signs in him, but never shared that with us.  Eventually we were able to bring him home for good, though.    And that's when our challenges really began.....

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This blog is going to be my place to reminisce over the process of adoption that I experienced.  With its joys and sorrows, its challenges and successes, the process has been a mixed blessing in my life.  

So stay tuned as I write out my thoughts.. and write your thoughts as well...  let's tell the stories...

Milestones on a Lifeline - A Poem that sums up my life....

by Barb (Schulz ) Boksz


Came into this world Mid-Century,
Put my parents life in a flurry.

In 52, the single child became two,
And in 56, they added one more to the mix.

In 58, during a great blizzard,
They were challenged with the health of my little sister.

In 64, I moved through the Catholic school doors,
To open the gates
Of life in 68.

By 72, Towson pushed me to start a career that was new,
And I ended 73, married blissfully.

In 76, we became Harford County hicks,
But in 77, Daddy went to heaven.

In 81, parenting became fun,
And kept us constantly on the run.

By 88, Nana went through the pearly gates,
And a daughter we did meet before we moved to Street.
At Joppatowne, the year 89 opened my cyber lifeline,
Although it was at Dublin I explored the cyber mine.

In 91, the feminine strife was done,
As we added a cute fuzzy faced one.

By 95, JHU made my cyberlife come alive,
Spreading the cyber mine to Scribes Online in 99.

The last odd day of the century, sent Earl to his destiny,
While I spent the first day of the millennium talking to global friends on my Pentium.

Wings were spread in 2001, with Lorraine heading to her eternal rest,
And us forming wagon trains heading west.

In 2002, we added someone new,
Making us grandparents true.

In 2003, Fuzzy face was free
To join those with a done destiny,
While we sailed to Alaska on our 30th anniversary.

In 2004, we saw both our kids and grandkid more,
Than we’d seen them in years,
But sadly one shed many tears.

While currently the knowledge is getting Piled Higher and Deeper,
Let’s hope I finish before I meet the great reaper.

In 2005, we spread our living quarters between the high desert and Mile High,
While in 2006, I traveled from shore to shore, and was very poor,
Yet ended where I started caring for a loved one.

As 2006 changed to 2007, Karen made herself known causing a huge crack in the marital bliss,
yet awakening my senses to the hopes of a kiss.

In 2008, searching out on old love brought kisses and more,
then that love brought lots of stuff to store.

In 2010,  I became a married woman again,
with lots of love and contentment. 
Went to Niagara on the honeymoon,
Lost a passport and cell phone,
and traveled by the clickety-clank of  train wheels to get back home,
But got back to life and research  way too soon.

In 2012, as Dr. Barb I reached that goal so beat the reaper,
But he's threatening Mom as we try to keep her.

As Dr. Barb spread her wings in 2013 to become an award winning teacher,
the district  at first tossed her out, then decided  to keep her.

In 2014, double foot surgery kept her home,  and brought  3 more back to the family,
so the decision was made to retire
and she's moved on to light other fires.

This poem will continue to grow as milestones come and go,
And life blows us to and fro,
As I work through my life’s lease,
And strive to reach my final peace.

From Both Sides Now... Teaching in a Virtual vs. Brick & Mortar School

Defining teaching from Both Sides Now….. As both an online teacher and a face to face teacher, being an integral part of the changing shift of teaching roles has been an interesting and valuable experience. Spending the first part of my career as an upper elementary teacher, dealing with 25 - 30 students at a time, gave me a solid experience as an educator. While I spent at least 50-60 hours a week at the job, including lesson preparation and grading, I loved the close interaction with my students, and teaching across the curriculum. Many times I was able to have the students participate in online projects in the mid 1990’s that had components from Math, Science, Social Studies, and Language Arts curriculums. These projects usually included interacting with other students around the globe. I loved being able to teach global awareness before it was a buzzword. However, even though we had a web page to share our projects, my efforts were mostly unappreciated by my district as no one in administration was yet aware of the world wide web, and couldn’t see the results of our accomplishments. Because I felt that I couldn’t grow professionally in a district that was so far behind technologically, I took a hiatus of seven years during which I worked in higher education in the online learning field.

Eventually, I returned to teaching in K-12. In this second part of my teaching career, my experiences included teaching at 2 different online High Schools, as well as at a brick and mortar Middle School as a computer education teacher. Moving to High School in the online schools was quite a different experience for me. Just the number of students that I taught at a time was enough to boggle the mind of a previous elementary teacher. In my first online teaching experience, I was teaching 600 High School students to utilize the Microsoft Office software for productivity. The learning management courseware was a unique design and very efficient in guiding them through their program, particularly since students were working from home with guidance from parents. As a teacher, I was expected to answer the phone to help students with questions they had with the curriculum. Most students progressed at their own rates, which left me free to concentrate on working with those having challenges with the curriculum. Our courseware included an online classroom where we could meet to talk about concepts, and for me to demonstrate parts of a lesson if needed. The quantitative type tests were graded by the computer, but each course had a couple of projects that had to be hand graded by the instructor. The grading portion of the courses could become tedious at times, only due to the repetitiveness of the expected projects and the sheer number of students. Since I was teaching full time for the company, the workload was very doable. As the school year wore on, I learned to take care of what needed to be done in the evenings, and was able to substitute in a local elementary school as well.

In another online school the following year, my case load was 80-100 students. This was a startup school in the Midwest while I was living on the East Coast. Because the school was just getting off the ground, there were many glitches in the courses that needed to be worked out, as well as several different delivery systems for the content, not as efficient as the previous online school. Eventually it all got sorted out, and our roles as teachers included grading assignments, calling parents and students on a regular monthly basis, holding online classes in an Elluminate classroom, and attending regular online faculty meetings. We were expected to develop additional lessons to supplement the online curriculum to be presented in the online classroom, and keep notes on the students in a student management system.

One of the awesome aspects of teaching online versus in a brick and mortar school was that I never met any of the online students face to face. I had no idea of their race or any other demographic information. In many cases I couldn’t even tell the gender of the student unless I heard their voice on the phone or in the online classroom. And with teenagers constantly changing voices, using that to develop perceptions was inconsistent. Therefore, I had to develop my perceptions of the students based on their work and ability to grasp the concepts taught. I was teaching to their brain and learning ability rather than to their looks or demographics!

At the same time I was teaching in this second online classroom, I had also returned to my previous district to teach Middle School students computer literacy. My student load in this school currently consists of teaching 160 students for 7 weeks, with 5 rotations throughout the year, resulting in teaching all 800 students. The grading and planning load (50-70 hours per week) is very similar to both the online schools and the elementary position. The curriculum is project based resulting in student assignments that need to be individually graded. The current brick and mortar school experience gives me personal interaction with students, albeit limited time with each student (6 1/2 weeks with 45 minutes a day equaling less than 30 hours total interaction time with each student during the year). A good portion of the classroom time is spent in teaching discipline because students see the special area class time as a break from the rigor of the regular classroom. They also use it as time to socialize with friends they haven’t seen for the rest of the day.

Due to the limited time with face to face students, I frequently felt closer to the secondary students I taught online, as I was interacting with them, one on one, in their home environment via phone calls and online classroom on a regular basis. In addition, I wasn’t dealing with their petty quarrels with each other, as their socialization took place in other areas such as team sports, dances, etc. The social activity was left out of the classroom, which allowed us to focus on academics and learning.

As a veteran of Both Sides Now in the online versus brick and mortar debate, I feel confident that the coming changes in education, through current and future planning by educational policy makers, will take advantage of the beneficial characteristics of both environments to make education work best for students.

This Vignette was written in response to a call for papers to be published in an ISTE book.  The paper made it through the selection to the top level, but was not utilized in the end..... here is the call...

Vignette in Response to Theme #6 – The Design and Nature of Teacher’s Work


Over the past 30 years, the average amount of time teachers spend working outside of class on school-related activities has increased nearly 20 percent. How have the roles and responsibilities of teachers, both inside and outside of the classroom, shifted over time? What are the consequences of these shifts for students and teachers? For example:

• Describe how the definition of a “teacher” has changed since you first started teaching. Thinking about your responsibilities and duties in the classroom and beyond, how have the demands and expectations for teachers changed over the course of your career?

Welcome to Barb's Blog!

It's nice to meet you! Learningbyts is the online place that Barb learns byt by byt. On these pages, you'll find links to lots of learning from personal reflections to ones related to my career experiences. So kick up your feet, grab a cup of coffee, and explore my path through my Personal Learning Network...

Come join us in the learning process..... click on the tabs above to see the different blogs....

LearningByts Blog: Higher Ed Vs. K-12

LearningByts Blog: Higher Ed Vs. K-12

I'm Back! After reading the flurry of responses to Sarah Fine's Blog on why she was leaving teaching, I decided to look back at my own blog of when I left teaching, and then returned. I had originally left because I felt stifled in the classroom, and that I couldn't grow as a learner with my district's permission. The original blog was started when I had returned to the classroom after a 4 year stint in higher education. That particular classroom position only lasted a year due to the fact that it was a one year contract. I then went to a large district as an Educational Technology Specialist, working with 14 schools to infuse technology into the regular classrooms. That position was heavy on politics, and wound up being another one year position. The timing was good for the end of that position, as I needed to return to my home state for family reasons. After 6 months of collecting unemployment and moving across country, I worked for an online school at the coporate level, as well as teaching for them. I also taught for an additional online school part-time when I finally returned to my old district.

I'm feeling much of what Will Richardson stated in his latest post about schools that have been around for the last century (my district) and how they will make changes and move into the new millenium to meet the needs of today's students. He talks about redefining what they do and how most schools are just "tinkering on the edges" making changes to technology to meet the old curriculum. He makes the analogy of whiteboards being new wine bottles for the old wine. How apropo for my district! That's just what has happened during my 7 year hiatus.

And now that I'm back, what can I do to make a difference? At first, I thought I would just stay under the radar, and enjoy the teaching experience, not making waves, and getting through the next ten years until retirement. I had to earn my tenure back again, and adjusting to the middle school classroom, was not as challenging as adjusting to a new district had been 3 years earlier. They had changed all the acronyms (typical educators - give it a new acronym and it's a new education :-) ), and some of the positions, but the philosophy and administration was basically the same. Last year our superintendent passed away suddenly, and this year we'll have a new one. Hopefully, since he came from a district that is more tech savvy than ours, he'll be making changes that bode well for technology in the classroom.

The challenge is that with all my various experiences I also know what's out there, the potential for students, and the benefits for the district. In addition, with all my research towards that ellusive Ph.D., I continue to keep abreast of the latest and best. What do I do with the knowledge? I have so much that sometimes I feel that just my presence and sharing scares others. I've had to have my hand slapped already for "trying new things" that haven't been approved by the district (a wikkispace!) . And when I give academic reasons, and research to back up my efforts, the hand slapping stops, but the only approval is that my ideas get shared at PLC's later as their idea. Oh well, I've often thought of myself as a seed planter. Plant the seeds of change, step back and watch them grow in the minds of others until they own them, and then change happens. I just wish sometimes I'd get the credit.

So what do I think of Sarah Fine's post? I don't agree that she's self-centered as one person put it. Teaching is a VERY demanding job, and she could have quit much earlier on. However, she did stick it out for 4 years. When I left to go to higher ed, I thought that education should allow teachers sabbaticals as professors in college get. The years I spent in higher ed were validating to me as a teacher. I was reminded of the research that was behind what I instinctively was doing in the classroom. In addition, it allowed me to interface with education proffessors and keep up with the latest and best research on the educational topics. If I had not already had my masters degree, that would have been the perfect time to pursue it without burning me out. As it is, I was inspired to go for the Ph.D.

Think about this..... if we allow teachers a sabbatical every so many years, and have administrators rotating back to the classroom during those times, it will keep everyone up to date, and valued as learners. I believe I came back fresher each time to the classroom with more openness to trying new things with students. I think the biggest plus was that I felt that I have continued to grow, and now through blogs, tweets, etc. can still keep up with my field. The question becomes how can I best share my expertise in a system that hasn't quite caught on to "redefining" itself yet?

So What is a Dissertation, Anyway?

In stumbling through the dissertation process, my friends and I are researching exactly what goes into writing a dissertation. We've found the following helpful sites.... Please add to them by clicking on the comment link below, and typing in your link, as well as your thoughts about what you found.

Useful Dissertation Links:

Writing and Presenting Your
Thesis or Dissertation by Dr. Joseph Levine

Dissertation Tips of the Month

Dissertation Glossary

So if you find any resources to add, please do! And if you have thoughts on the above sites, please add them here.....

You can do that by clicking on the Comments link below. Looking forward to hearing from everyone!

Barb

Higher Ed Vs. K-12

As a K-12 veteran teacher who left to spread her wings into the higher education arena, then returned to K-12 because she missed the kids, this Blog will chronicle my experiences while adjusting to a new environment 1700 miles away from my old one.

When I left Dublin Elementary in Street, MD, I didn't realize how true my prophecy to my parents would be. I told a parent that I would return to the classroom within five years, just in time to teach her youngest child in 5th grade. Here I am four years later, but little did I know that I would be 1700 miles away from that small school, in a similar school at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.

My prophecy was extremely close.... I lasted all of four years in the Higher Education arena. The urges every September to return to the hustle and bustle of the classroom would depress me every year. This year those urges started in the Spring as our student teachers were interviewing at a job fair for jobs in the fall, and continued to push me through the summer.

I tried to ward off those feelings by applying for a faculty position at the university, thinking that teaching at that level would ease the urge, however, not only was that position not meant to be, but any attempt I made to teach any course at all was hindered by my administrator, and university policies that prevented working "over-loads". I was facing another year of 40 hours behind a computer without interactions with any students, so therefore, when an opening at Rye Elementary became available, working with teachers and a principal I respect, I jumped at the chance.

One of the beauties of this position is that I teach technology to all three fifth grade classes, so I get to put into practice all my suggestions I was giving to student teachers. In other words, I get to put my "money where my mouth is".

This BLOG will be the chronicling of my experiences through this year as I readjust to teaching in a new town, with new faces, new standards, and deal with the mandates created by No Child Left Behind (NCLB). Hopefully, I'll be able to bring the wisdom gained by the four years spent in higher ed where I was able to find the research to back up teaching practices.

I'll still be doing my own research, as I'll be working on my dissertation toward my Ph.D., so these entries may not be as often as I'd like, but hopefully, I'll continue to grow as a lifelong learner. Keep checking back to see my growth!

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Granny and Kayla at the zoo during Summer 2004....
riding Mommy's favorite animal.. a dolphin..