November 21, 2011
Cool Learningbyts for Kids
Got a neat place to learn? Share the link here for others to use. And give us a short description of it so we know what it's about...
You may want to check out Learningbyts HarCUE Bookmarks page for more ideas...
You may want to check out Learningbyts HarCUE Bookmarks page for more ideas...
August 20, 2011
three little words: A Memoir by Ashley Rhodes-Courter
Just read a remarkable book by an adopted young lady that tells the story from her side of the story. It's amazing to me how many things in her story parallel the feelings, behaviors, and challenges that were faced in our family.
Check it out! A good read!! A MUST read for all adoptive/foster parents, guidance counselors, social workers, teachers, ministers, and anyone working with these kids! And also a good read for foster or adoptive kids!
Enjoy!
Check it out! A good read!! A MUST read for all adoptive/foster parents, guidance counselors, social workers, teachers, ministers, and anyone working with these kids! And also a good read for foster or adoptive kids!
Enjoy!
June 11, 2011
Angels with Broken Wings (A Chronicle on the process of adoption in the U.S.)
Adoption and Foster care have been put in place to solve challenges in our society, but could the system be better?
Have you been adopted, or spent time in the foster care system? What were the successes? the challenges? How did you solve the challenges? What helped you heal if the system put a crimp in your wings.... Tell us your story...
Here is my story...
I remember the first time I saw her… she was eating pizza at a Pizza Hut with our social worker and we were sitting a couple tables away listening to their conversations. The social worker knew we were listening and kept the conversation light and impersonal. She guided our future “daughter” in telling about her day at school, and asking how things were with the foster family she was currently staying with.
Have you been adopted, or spent time in the foster care system? What were the successes? the challenges? How did you solve the challenges? What helped you heal if the system put a crimp in your wings.... Tell us your story...
Here is my story...
I remember the first time I saw her… she was eating pizza at a Pizza Hut with our social worker and we were sitting a couple tables away listening to their conversations. The social worker knew we were listening and kept the conversation light and impersonal. She guided our future “daughter” in telling about her day at school, and asking how things were with the foster family she was currently staying with.
My first impression of her was of an eleven year old pixie with short hair, and cute turned up little nose, and an upbeat outlook on life. She seemed basically happy although one could tell there was an underlying tension and worry in her. After all, we already knew a little bit about the challenges she had faced in her short eleven years. Her challenge with having to be the “adult” at six years old to take care of a hypochondriac mother who was so sick she kept her daughter home from school to be the nursemaid. The challenges of being shifted from one place to another whenever her mom was hospitalized. The worry of the list of family and friends that she had stayed with during those hospitalizations, so many that her welcome had been worn out. Then the worry of being placed in foster care several times, none of which worked out for one reason or another.
Added @ 10 PM on July 10, 2011...
The biggest blow was yet to come for her, as she had finally bonded with her current foster family, and both she and they wanted it to be more permanent. You see, there was a sister there her own age, a loving mom and dad, and a brother she could tease. However, the powers that be, in the form of the American military, the foster program, and her mother's own challenges made that dream impossible. The foster family being military was being relocated to another state, and even though they wished with all their hearts that she could go with them, her birth mother would not sign papers to release her to be able to go across state lines. Even though the social workers were working to get the state custody because mom had dropped the ball too often leaving her, but the wheels of state moved too slowly for the foster family's required leave date. So that's how we entered the picture. But our story started years earlier......
We had had challenges years before this with conceiving a child. It's very hard to describe the deep feelings of despair that come along with infertility. Since I had dreamt since I was a child of being a mother, and since I had "mothered" my siblings frequently, I of course assumed that I would get pregnant very easily. And the first infertility tests showed that I had endometriosis, but not severe yet, so we should be able to get pregnant. (Of course if I had known then what I know now -30 years later- about the gender issues of my ex-spouse, maybe my choices would have been different!) We jumped through all the hoops that were recommended... the taking temperatures to find the highest ovulation time, timing intercourse to take advantage of those times, the keeping certain postures to hold the sperm in place longer, the changing (his) underwear so his sperm count had the best chance of surviving, we tried all the tricks writtten in the books at the time. We were too early for invitro ... although the scientists were working on it.
At first, every month that passed was just a disappointment. But when months turned into years, each month then became like a funeral. A funeral for the baby I hoped to conceive that month, but every time my menses showed up that hope died yet again. And the tears flowed on a regular basis. And the constant wondering of how come it's so easy for everyone else? The feelings of inadequacy... I couldn't even perform a basic function of life.... produce a life. Wasn't it supposed to make all the feminine hassles worthwhile? Would I never hold my baby in my arms? The empty feelings of my arms grew heavier as each month passed.
We finally started talking about adoption. We put our name on several lists, did the paperwork for each, and went through the classes that were offered. The whole time we kept hoping that we'd become pregnant and wouldn't need to go through the process. After all, we were told that it would be years before a baby was available because the waiting lines were so long. If we had megabucks we may have been able to get a lawyer, or afford an overseas adoption, but on our meager salaries we couldn't afford those avenues. We knew two other couples who were able to get babies from Catholic Charities, but since my spouse was not Catholic, and we hadn't settled on a church as yet, Catholic Charities put us further down on their list. Eventually we got the to point that we had been trying so long that we realized that if we had gotten pregnant our child would have been 5 or 6 years old, so we convinced ourselves that we could take a special needs child. Any child over 5 was considered special needs because they were harder to place. Little did we know that also meant that most children by that age came with extensive challenges due to the ordeal life had already put them through. And even though we went through additional classes to try to understand those challenges there was no way we could truly understand what those kids would need.
We eventually adopted our son from Episcopal Social Services. We put our name on our local county list as well and did the paperwork for them, but were told the waiting list was years long. At ESS the process to finally bring him home was intensive. He was not only a special needs child but also had real special education needs with severe learning disabilities. We had combed through catalogs of children that needed homes, and wrote away for a couple of them, but usually someone else had gotten there first, or something went wrong with their foster/adoption process and they were not available at the time we were searching.
When I saw his blond hair and blue eyes and that his birthdate matched my spouse's grandfather's and my mother's birthday, I knew he was meant for us! Little did I know that the system had already put its mark on him. He had been pulled from his birth mom when he was two years old due to being hospitalized for malnutrition several times in those two years. Unfortuately, during those first two years of life is when the brain develops the most, so that malnutition caused his severe learning disabilities. In foster care, he too was bounced from foster placement to foster placement mainly because they couldn't deal with his disabilities. When we finally adopted him at the age of 5, his communication skills were that of a 2 year old. We would be driving down the street with him, and he'd be pointing to things and labeling them in one word syllables.... and getting some of them wrong. It took us two years to get through to him that a Xmas tree was NOT a "monkey tree" as he called it.
But back to the adoption itself. When we finally convinced the social worker that we truly wanted to adopt him, he was at St. Vincent's, an orphanage about an hour away from us. He had been placed there when his last foster placement fell through, and the courts and social workers were adamant that he had to be there for 6 months. Their reasoning was that he had gotten too "attached" to each of his foster homes, and when the time came for him to be removed, it went hard on him. So they wanted him to stay at the orphanage for at least 6 months so he could "unattach".... So our schedule for six months consisted of visiting him first at the orphanage for an hour or two for a couple of weeks, then moving up to an afternoon outing for a couple of weeks. Eventually we could take him to our house for the day, but had to bring him back at night, then several months of having him for the weekend and taking him back again. Every trip taking him back was gut-wrenching for all three of us. After all, how do you tell a 5 year old that you love him but aren't keeping him and are giving him back to that impersonal place (the staff there was really nice though!) The hardest part was not knowing when the social workers would decide that he was ready to be adopted. They were looking for some behavior or signs in him, but never shared that with us. Eventually we were able to bring him home for good, though. And that's when our challenges really began.....
*******************************************************************************
This blog is going to be my place to reminisce over the process of adoption that I experienced. With its joys and sorrows, its challenges and successes, the process has been a mixed blessing in my life.
Added @ 10 PM on July 10, 2011...
The biggest blow was yet to come for her, as she had finally bonded with her current foster family, and both she and they wanted it to be more permanent. You see, there was a sister there her own age, a loving mom and dad, and a brother she could tease. However, the powers that be, in the form of the American military, the foster program, and her mother's own challenges made that dream impossible. The foster family being military was being relocated to another state, and even though they wished with all their hearts that she could go with them, her birth mother would not sign papers to release her to be able to go across state lines. Even though the social workers were working to get the state custody because mom had dropped the ball too often leaving her, but the wheels of state moved too slowly for the foster family's required leave date. So that's how we entered the picture. But our story started years earlier......
We had had challenges years before this with conceiving a child. It's very hard to describe the deep feelings of despair that come along with infertility. Since I had dreamt since I was a child of being a mother, and since I had "mothered" my siblings frequently, I of course assumed that I would get pregnant very easily. And the first infertility tests showed that I had endometriosis, but not severe yet, so we should be able to get pregnant. (Of course if I had known then what I know now -30 years later- about the gender issues of my ex-spouse, maybe my choices would have been different!) We jumped through all the hoops that were recommended... the taking temperatures to find the highest ovulation time, timing intercourse to take advantage of those times, the keeping certain postures to hold the sperm in place longer, the changing (his) underwear so his sperm count had the best chance of surviving, we tried all the tricks writtten in the books at the time. We were too early for invitro ... although the scientists were working on it.
At first, every month that passed was just a disappointment. But when months turned into years, each month then became like a funeral. A funeral for the baby I hoped to conceive that month, but every time my menses showed up that hope died yet again. And the tears flowed on a regular basis. And the constant wondering of how come it's so easy for everyone else? The feelings of inadequacy... I couldn't even perform a basic function of life.... produce a life. Wasn't it supposed to make all the feminine hassles worthwhile? Would I never hold my baby in my arms? The empty feelings of my arms grew heavier as each month passed.
We finally started talking about adoption. We put our name on several lists, did the paperwork for each, and went through the classes that were offered. The whole time we kept hoping that we'd become pregnant and wouldn't need to go through the process. After all, we were told that it would be years before a baby was available because the waiting lines were so long. If we had megabucks we may have been able to get a lawyer, or afford an overseas adoption, but on our meager salaries we couldn't afford those avenues. We knew two other couples who were able to get babies from Catholic Charities, but since my spouse was not Catholic, and we hadn't settled on a church as yet, Catholic Charities put us further down on their list. Eventually we got the to point that we had been trying so long that we realized that if we had gotten pregnant our child would have been 5 or 6 years old, so we convinced ourselves that we could take a special needs child. Any child over 5 was considered special needs because they were harder to place. Little did we know that also meant that most children by that age came with extensive challenges due to the ordeal life had already put them through. And even though we went through additional classes to try to understand those challenges there was no way we could truly understand what those kids would need.
We eventually adopted our son from Episcopal Social Services. We put our name on our local county list as well and did the paperwork for them, but were told the waiting list was years long. At ESS the process to finally bring him home was intensive. He was not only a special needs child but also had real special education needs with severe learning disabilities. We had combed through catalogs of children that needed homes, and wrote away for a couple of them, but usually someone else had gotten there first, or something went wrong with their foster/adoption process and they were not available at the time we were searching.
When I saw his blond hair and blue eyes and that his birthdate matched my spouse's grandfather's and my mother's birthday, I knew he was meant for us! Little did I know that the system had already put its mark on him. He had been pulled from his birth mom when he was two years old due to being hospitalized for malnutrition several times in those two years. Unfortuately, during those first two years of life is when the brain develops the most, so that malnutition caused his severe learning disabilities. In foster care, he too was bounced from foster placement to foster placement mainly because they couldn't deal with his disabilities. When we finally adopted him at the age of 5, his communication skills were that of a 2 year old. We would be driving down the street with him, and he'd be pointing to things and labeling them in one word syllables.... and getting some of them wrong. It took us two years to get through to him that a Xmas tree was NOT a "monkey tree" as he called it.
But back to the adoption itself. When we finally convinced the social worker that we truly wanted to adopt him, he was at St. Vincent's, an orphanage about an hour away from us. He had been placed there when his last foster placement fell through, and the courts and social workers were adamant that he had to be there for 6 months. Their reasoning was that he had gotten too "attached" to each of his foster homes, and when the time came for him to be removed, it went hard on him. So they wanted him to stay at the orphanage for at least 6 months so he could "unattach".... So our schedule for six months consisted of visiting him first at the orphanage for an hour or two for a couple of weeks, then moving up to an afternoon outing for a couple of weeks. Eventually we could take him to our house for the day, but had to bring him back at night, then several months of having him for the weekend and taking him back again. Every trip taking him back was gut-wrenching for all three of us. After all, how do you tell a 5 year old that you love him but aren't keeping him and are giving him back to that impersonal place (the staff there was really nice though!) The hardest part was not knowing when the social workers would decide that he was ready to be adopted. They were looking for some behavior or signs in him, but never shared that with us. Eventually we were able to bring him home for good, though. And that's when our challenges really began.....
*******************************************************************************
This blog is going to be my place to reminisce over the process of adoption that I experienced. With its joys and sorrows, its challenges and successes, the process has been a mixed blessing in my life.
So stay tuned as I write out my thoughts.. and write your thoughts as well... let's tell the stories...
April 17, 2011
Milestones on a Lifeline - A Poem that sums up my life....
by Barb (Schulz ) Boksz
Came into this world Mid-Century,
Put my parents life in a flurry.
In 52, the single child became two,
And in 56, they added one more to the mix.
In 58, during a great blizzard,
They were challenged with the health of my little sister.
In 64, I moved through the Catholic school doors,
To open the gates
Of life in 68.
By 72, Towson pushed me to start a career that was new,
And I ended 73, married blissfully.
In 76, we became Harford County hicks,
But in 77, Daddy went to heaven.
In 81, parenting became fun,
And kept us constantly on the run.
By 88, Nana went through the pearly gates,
And a daughter we did meet before we moved to Street.
At Joppatowne, the year 89 opened my cyber lifeline,
Although it was at Dublin I explored the cyber mine.
In 91, the feminine strife was done,
As we added a cute fuzzy faced one.
By 95, JHU made my cyberlife come alive,
Spreading the cyber mine to Scribes Online in 99.
The last odd day of the century, sent Earl to his destiny,
While I spent the first day of the millennium talking to global friends on my Pentium.
Wings were spread in 2001, with Lorraine heading to her eternal rest,
And us forming wagon trains heading west.
In 2002, we added someone new,
Making us grandparents true.
In 2003, Fuzzy face was free
To join those with a done destiny,
While we sailed to Alaska on our 30th anniversary.
In 2004, we saw both our kids and grandkid more,
Than we’d seen them in years,
But sadly one shed many tears.
While currently the knowledge is getting Piled Higher and Deeper,
Let’s hope I finish before I meet the great reaper.
In 2005, we spread our living quarters between the high desert and Mile High,
While in 2006, I traveled from shore to shore, and was very poor,
Yet ended where I started caring for a loved one.
As 2006 changed to 2007, Karen made herself known causing a huge crack in the marital bliss,
yet awakening my senses to the hopes of a kiss.
In 2008, searching out on old love brought kisses and more,
then that love brought lots of stuff to store.
In 2010, I became a married woman again,
with lots of love and contentment.
Went to Niagara on the honeymoon,
Lost a passport and cell phone,
and traveled by the clickety-clank of train wheels to get back home,
But got back to life and research way too soon.
In 2012, as Dr. Barb I reached that goal so beat the reaper,
But he's threatening Mom as we try to keep her.
As Dr. Barb spread her wings in 2013 to become an award winning teacher,
the district at first tossed her out, then decided to keep her.
In 2014, double foot surgery kept her home, and brought 3 more back to the family,
so the decision was made to retire
and she's moved on to light other fires.
This poem will continue to grow as milestones come and go,
And life blows us to and fro,
As I work through my life’s lease,
And strive to reach my final peace.
Came into this world Mid-Century,
Put my parents life in a flurry.
In 52, the single child became two,
And in 56, they added one more to the mix.
In 58, during a great blizzard,
They were challenged with the health of my little sister.
In 64, I moved through the Catholic school doors,
To open the gates
Of life in 68.
By 72, Towson pushed me to start a career that was new,
And I ended 73, married blissfully.
In 76, we became Harford County hicks,
But in 77, Daddy went to heaven.
In 81, parenting became fun,
And kept us constantly on the run.
By 88, Nana went through the pearly gates,
And a daughter we did meet before we moved to Street.
At Joppatowne, the year 89 opened my cyber lifeline,
Although it was at Dublin I explored the cyber mine.
In 91, the feminine strife was done,
As we added a cute fuzzy faced one.
By 95, JHU made my cyberlife come alive,
Spreading the cyber mine to Scribes Online in 99.
The last odd day of the century, sent Earl to his destiny,
While I spent the first day of the millennium talking to global friends on my Pentium.
Wings were spread in 2001, with Lorraine heading to her eternal rest,
And us forming wagon trains heading west.
In 2002, we added someone new,
Making us grandparents true.
In 2003, Fuzzy face was free
To join those with a done destiny,
While we sailed to Alaska on our 30th anniversary.
In 2004, we saw both our kids and grandkid more,
Than we’d seen them in years,
But sadly one shed many tears.
While currently the knowledge is getting Piled Higher and Deeper,
Let’s hope I finish before I meet the great reaper.
In 2005, we spread our living quarters between the high desert and Mile High,
While in 2006, I traveled from shore to shore, and was very poor,
Yet ended where I started caring for a loved one.
As 2006 changed to 2007, Karen made herself known causing a huge crack in the marital bliss,
yet awakening my senses to the hopes of a kiss.
In 2008, searching out on old love brought kisses and more,
then that love brought lots of stuff to store.
In 2010, I became a married woman again,
with lots of love and contentment.
Went to Niagara on the honeymoon,
Lost a passport and cell phone,
and traveled by the clickety-clank of train wheels to get back home,
But got back to life and research way too soon.
In 2012, as Dr. Barb I reached that goal so beat the reaper,
But he's threatening Mom as we try to keep her.
As Dr. Barb spread her wings in 2013 to become an award winning teacher,
the district at first tossed her out, then decided to keep her.
In 2014, double foot surgery kept her home, and brought 3 more back to the family,
so the decision was made to retire
and she's moved on to light other fires.
This poem will continue to grow as milestones come and go,
And life blows us to and fro,
As I work through my life’s lease,
And strive to reach my final peace.
From Both Sides Now... Teaching in a Virtual vs. Brick & Mortar School
Defining teaching from Both Sides Now….. As both an online teacher and a face to face teacher, being an integral part of the changing shift of teaching roles has been an interesting and valuable experience. Spending the first part of my career as an upper elementary teacher, dealing with 25 - 30 students at a time, gave me a solid experience as an educator. While I spent at least 50-60 hours a week at the job, including lesson preparation and grading, I loved the close interaction with my students, and teaching across the curriculum. Many times I was able to have the students participate in online projects in the mid 1990’s that had components from Math, Science, Social Studies, and Language Arts curriculums. These projects usually included interacting with other students around the globe. I loved being able to teach global awareness before it was a buzzword. However, even though we had a web page to share our projects, my efforts were mostly unappreciated by my district as no one in administration was yet aware of the world wide web, and couldn’t see the results of our accomplishments. Because I felt that I couldn’t grow professionally in a district that was so far behind technologically, I took a hiatus of seven years during which I worked in higher education in the online learning field.
Eventually, I returned to teaching in K-12. In this second part of my teaching career, my experiences included teaching at 2 different online High Schools, as well as at a brick and mortar Middle School as a computer education teacher. Moving to High School in the online schools was quite a different experience for me. Just the number of students that I taught at a time was enough to boggle the mind of a previous elementary teacher. In my first online teaching experience, I was teaching 600 High School students to utilize the Microsoft Office software for productivity. The learning management courseware was a unique design and very efficient in guiding them through their program, particularly since students were working from home with guidance from parents. As a teacher, I was expected to answer the phone to help students with questions they had with the curriculum. Most students progressed at their own rates, which left me free to concentrate on working with those having challenges with the curriculum. Our courseware included an online classroom where we could meet to talk about concepts, and for me to demonstrate parts of a lesson if needed. The quantitative type tests were graded by the computer, but each course had a couple of projects that had to be hand graded by the instructor. The grading portion of the courses could become tedious at times, only due to the repetitiveness of the expected projects and the sheer number of students. Since I was teaching full time for the company, the workload was very doable. As the school year wore on, I learned to take care of what needed to be done in the evenings, and was able to substitute in a local elementary school as well.
In another online school the following year, my case load was 80-100 students. This was a startup school in the Midwest while I was living on the East Coast. Because the school was just getting off the ground, there were many glitches in the courses that needed to be worked out, as well as several different delivery systems for the content, not as efficient as the previous online school. Eventually it all got sorted out, and our roles as teachers included grading assignments, calling parents and students on a regular monthly basis, holding online classes in an Elluminate classroom, and attending regular online faculty meetings. We were expected to develop additional lessons to supplement the online curriculum to be presented in the online classroom, and keep notes on the students in a student management system.
One of the awesome aspects of teaching online versus in a brick and mortar school was that I never met any of the online students face to face. I had no idea of their race or any other demographic information. In many cases I couldn’t even tell the gender of the student unless I heard their voice on the phone or in the online classroom. And with teenagers constantly changing voices, using that to develop perceptions was inconsistent. Therefore, I had to develop my perceptions of the students based on their work and ability to grasp the concepts taught. I was teaching to their brain and learning ability rather than to their looks or demographics!
At the same time I was teaching in this second online classroom, I had also returned to my previous district to teach Middle School students computer literacy. My student load in this school currently consists of teaching 160 students for 7 weeks, with 5 rotations throughout the year, resulting in teaching all 800 students. The grading and planning load (50-70 hours per week) is very similar to both the online schools and the elementary position. The curriculum is project based resulting in student assignments that need to be individually graded. The current brick and mortar school experience gives me personal interaction with students, albeit limited time with each student (6 1/2 weeks with 45 minutes a day equaling less than 30 hours total interaction time with each student during the year). A good portion of the classroom time is spent in teaching discipline because students see the special area class time as a break from the rigor of the regular classroom. They also use it as time to socialize with friends they haven’t seen for the rest of the day.
Due to the limited time with face to face students, I frequently felt closer to the secondary students I taught online, as I was interacting with them, one on one, in their home environment via phone calls and online classroom on a regular basis. In addition, I wasn’t dealing with their petty quarrels with each other, as their socialization took place in other areas such as team sports, dances, etc. The social activity was left out of the classroom, which allowed us to focus on academics and learning.
As a veteran of Both Sides Now in the online versus brick and mortar debate, I feel confident that the coming changes in education, through current and future planning by educational policy makers, will take advantage of the beneficial characteristics of both environments to make education work best for students.
This Vignette was written in response to a call for papers to be published in an ISTE book. The paper made it through the selection to the top level, but was not utilized in the end..... here is the call...
Vignette in Response to Theme #6 – The Design and Nature of Teacher’s Work
Over the past 30 years, the average amount of time teachers spend working outside of class on school-related activities has increased nearly 20 percent. How have the roles and responsibilities of teachers, both inside and outside of the classroom, shifted over time? What are the consequences of these shifts for students and teachers? For example:
• Describe how the definition of a “teacher” has changed since you first started teaching. Thinking about your responsibilities and duties in the classroom and beyond, how have the demands and expectations for teachers changed over the course of your career?
April 16, 2011
Welcome to Barb's Blog!
It's nice to meet you! Learningbyts is the online place that Barb learns byt by byt. On these pages, you'll find links to lots of learning from personal reflections to ones related to my career experiences. So kick up your feet, grab a cup of coffee, and explore my path through my Personal Learning Network...
Come join us in the learning process..... click on the tabs above to see the different blogs....
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